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Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve?

Marianne and I were chatting.

We have been in similar situations in terms of our marriages.

To be with someone who has lost sight of the real woman. Who seems to view her only as the mother of his children or the secretary/personal assistant who runs his household and does only what is necessary to keep that manifestation of her happy.

The trouble is that, once a woman reaches a certain age, ‘going through the motions’ sex is not enough for us to achieve orgasm. Not only is it harder for us to reach that state physically because we are chemically and hormonally challenged due to the Menopause, but we need to be engaged on a much deeper mental level.

The superficiality of ‘comfort’ sex where a couple fuck purely to satisfy a biological need is a frustrating nuisance. Sure, it will fulfil the man’s testosterone-fuelled lust.

But, for the woman? Uh-uh :(

Where is the PASSION!   We need intimacy and interaction on so many levels to make the transition from the frumpy housewife, gamely trying to referee the petty bickering of her children as she juggles the myriad of  duties required to keep a clean and tidy home and well aware of the  baked beans and snot that someone has smeared across the front of her jumper into the beautiful, lingerie-clad sex siren who should inhabit every marital bedchamber.

Women require emotional engagement, mental stimulation and the knowledge that we are desired as a gorgeous, sexy lady before we can even start to climb the stairs towards the bedroom, let alone achieve a climax.

Even now, secure in the certain knowledge that Ruf adores me, I can sometimes still find myself teetering on the cliff edge. Desperate to fling myself over, but just unable to cut off the ties, release the holds that bind me to reality.

Something is holding me back, even with all those points in my favour.

So, what hope for a woman who is so disconnected from her partner that it feels as if she is being used as a living masturbation sleeve?

A good friend continued to live with his wife whilst they waited for their divorce to come through. Although they had separate sleeping arrangements, occasionally they would have drink-fuelled reconciliation sex to scratch their mutual biological itches and would consider whether they were making a big mistake. A few days later, the irritations and recriminations would resurface and the path to the decree absolute would continue unopposed.

But that type of sex at least means that they still find each other attractive enough to mutually agree to stimulate each other to orgasm.

In a marriage that is dying, it is more often than not ‘resigned’ sex, where the woman ‘just lets him‘ and in her head she is making out a shopping list or planning the following day’s activities whilst shet ‘gets it over with’

And that is a situation which should never be tolerated.

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March 13th, 2010 | Tags: , , , , , | Category: Divorce, Emotional Snapshots, Sex and Menopause | 26 comments

26 comments to Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve?

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