Twisting My Balls - In2U Discovery Duo Balls

I’m getting rather concerned about my ability to grip small objects because, yet again, I was thwarted by my inability to open a toy to insert the batteries and found myself in my local Ann Summers with the lovely Kerry instructing me on how to twist my balls correctly.

According to Wikipedia, Ben Wa or Kegel balls were originally a single marble-like ball that was left in the vagina during sex to help stimulate pleasure. These then became a string of balls for easy insertion and removal. Later, they became fashionable for stimulating the vaginal muscles to improve sexual performance, increase vaginal elasticity and increase bladder control, especially to make sex and menopause run more smoothly.

The latest version of Kegel balls to cross my threshold are the In2U Discover Duo Balls from Ann Summers and, like the rest of the In2U range, they’re designed for couples to enjoy together but, with Ruf unavailable on this weekend, I had to go for a solo test.

The weighted balls are slotted into a silicone chassis and can be swapped with a pair of vibrating balls for additional stimulation. And it was the vibrators which caused me all the trouble. They were just too small and slippery for my aging hands to get a proper grip on, although Kerry expertly whipped them apart without too much difficulty so I think it must be my poor RSI-affected fingers that are at fault. A side effect of years of hammering away at a keyboard for a living.

However, my major complaint with both the In2U products that I have tried recently is the lack of clear instructions on how to insert the batteries. To open and close the silver eggs you have a + symbol on one end and the two halves are held together with a mechanism like a latch that requires you to match up the two halves of the +, press the lug into the slot for a specific distance and then twist. To prise them apart again, you have to twist just the right amount and then pull the two segments apart. It’s not easy even when you have been shown how to do it.

As described earlier, the Duo Balls are designed to increase the strength of your pelvic floor and vaginal muscles or to be worn during the day for slow, discreet stimulation – and with vibration if you’re brave enough to try the silver balls out of the house.

The blurb on the Ann Summers site talks about them bringing you to a ‘powerful and satisfying climax’ but, as I’ve mentioned in other posts, Kegel balls just don’t do it for me as female vibrators.

There is something about my anatomy which means they don’t work as a pelvic floor exerciser and I find having them jangling about inside me when I’m walking about most unsettling. It’s a bit like one of those finger nails on a blackboard moments. Neither the sound nor the sensation helps to make me think of sex and, sadly, these were no exception.

Now you know that I’m not averse to Ruf inserting most items into my various orifices but, knowing the trouble I have getting Kegel balls inside me, I just can’t get my head round the idea.

As usual, the only position where I can facilitate entry is stood upright with one foot on the bed or chair and then pushing hard to slide the first ball in past the recalcitrant muscles, which behave rather like doormen enforcing the dresscode at a particularly exclusive nightclub. If you don’t get it just right, you ain’t coming in, mate!

These In2U balls are possibly slightly easier than previous models that I’ve tried because they have tapered ends, making them egg-shaped rather than being spherical. This adjustment makes them slightly more suited to the shape of the entrance and the canal behind it, but they are quite large in comparison to others that I have tried.

Once the first one is inside, there is the transition between the two balls along the tiny length of the silicone chassis where it sort of folds back on itself before the next ball comes into play. It feels as if the first ball is sitting across the entrance and so I have to push against that and the stubborn muscles in order to get the second inside me.

Using the vibrating ones was almost worse because, being much lighter, there was no ‘weight’ or force to help with the insertion. The muscles at the entrance to my vagina take no prisoners – as Ruf will confirm – and that applies to entry as well as exit. Although, I suspect that he would rather enjoy the challenge of forcing his way into the citadel armed with an additional set of balls.

Mind you, the most memorable part was actually getting the weighted ball out of the silicone chassis. It is more all-encompassing than others that I have used and, whilst this gives a better feeling of security that they are not going to come adrift inside you (and all the faffing about that would entail to remove an escapee), it also means that it feels a bit like you are popping someone’s eyeball out and there was a lot of scurrying about on the floor trying to recapture them afterwards.

It was not unpleasant with them vibrating inside me and, in fact, I rather preferred that to the jangling and clanking of the weighted pair, but I was nowhere near even a flicker of orgasmic feeling. I am concerned that, whilst the sleeve was listed as being made of silicone, I couldn’t find a description of the material used to make either set of balls.

The jury is still out on this one and there are definitely areas that could be improved.