When Dark Trails referred back to the first time he had sex with a friend, it made me think about some of my more recent musings.
The Blast (from the Past) and I have tentatively discussed whether sex would affect the friendship which has regrown since we got back in touch after three decades.
It is quite clear that the innate attraction that we felt when we were both just children still remains. It had been lying there dormant for so many years and exposure has now served only to poke at the sleeping dragon, who is waking up to sniff at the surrounding air and prepare to pour forth fire upon the burning embers.
Some time ago, he spent a night in bed with another very old friend without having sex. Just lying together in bed comforting each other at a sad time in their lives. He wishes now that he had been brave enough to go further as he is convinced that it just adds another dimension to that friendship.
I’m not so sure. Can you regain that same intimacy once the fulfilment of sex has muddied the boundaries? And this is a question that rears its ugly head a lot at this time of year. Singletons who come together – so to speak – because they are alone. The festive season seems to be aimed at couples and those who are not in a relationship feel excluded. It makes them reach out to people… in desperation? To try to be part of the crowd and experience the romance of Christmas.
Obviously sex is unlikely to happen between me and the Blast because of my relationship with Ruf… although it doesnt mean that I am not sometimes tempted – especially as Ruf has given me permission to have sex with one other man in order to have something with which to compare our sexual compatibility.
When he drove me for a tour of his village recently, I had occasion to look at his hands on the steering wheel. Strong, big, hands with long fingers, which required me to give myself something of a shake, and yet, when I think of him in that context, this is what happens… Should I sleep with my friend?
Hey, this is waay too complicated. I can’t figure out my own sex life let alone yours. Besides, what you’ve got I’d love to have. Who’s it going to affect the most?
Jack, Fear not! I intend to stay faithful to my Ruf and keep my best friend x
Joanna – In my case. Everything worked out great. At the time, CG and I were not involved with anyone else. So we didn’t have that risk. There were some other complications, but we eventually got through them. I think you are a making a great decision and doing wonderful at thinking it all through.
The Steel Horseman recently posted..A Message For Sulpicia
Steel H – Thank you. I am sure that I will still see him around but he cannot now just contact me out of the blue