Reading about Hubman and Veronica’s little liaison recently made me revisit in my head the possibility of Ruf and I swinging.
I find the whole idea very arousing and very worrying all at the same time. Would I really want to watch Ruf fucking someone else? And yet, the idea of observing the effect on some other woman of all the things that I love having done to me…? Now that’s pretty hot.
As is the idea of meeting a couple in a bar and us both being sexually attracted enough to them to want to swap partners. To have Ruf watch as another man desired and then fucked me…? What’s not to like about that? Providing, of course, you have a relationship that can withstand the pressures that such an activity might engender.
Later that day, I was chatting with an old friend. After many sexless years, he had finally bitten the bullet and been unfaithful.
Part of me was jealous. Since I first met him, I had wanted to be the woman who fulfilled that particular need for him but I had never been brave enough to risk what I have with Ruf for the sake of something that could never have a future.
Was I selfish? Did I let my friend down by not helping him in his torment?
It’s not that I don’t find the whole idea incredibly tempting, he has fuelled several of the fantasies that I have written in this blog.
When things were unsettled with Ruf in the early days, I seesawed between determining that I would call Smooth and then realising that I loved Ruf too much to be unfaithful, even when he was unsure whether he actually wanted to continue with our relationship because of my own married status.
But it is the part of me that is responsible for self-preservation that keeps me on the straight and narrow, well aware of all the difficulties that can arise when marriages are involved.
Having said all that… and experienced the confusion, it made Ruf and I talk about involving other people as a possibility for the future. He is certainly not averse to the idea of having two women sucking his genitals simultaneously… or indeed kissing one whilst fucking another.
Whether I could actually feel the desire to make love to another woman is, however, a whole different ballgame.
It reminded me of a piece that I wrote about Smooth when I tried to come to terms with my inner turmoil about him a year or so ago.
It was the only way that I could envisage having sex with a man who was not Ruf.
I wake up lying on my stomach. It’s too hot and I’m very squashed. My body hurts… it aches in places I didn’t know I had places.
I reach out my hand and feel the reassuring crackle of Ruf’s chest hair under my fingers but I am conscious of the heat surrounding me. I cautiously move my left hand and the realisation starts to dawn as it encounters the soft skin of another chest at my other side and I become aware of the pressure of a second hand on my back. I can feel the red flush rise in my face as the memories start to flood back…
We had invited him to our hotel room. Someone I’ve known for a while virtually. I knew he wanted me. He had made no secret of that. And who else would I choose for this adventure? Read more
Originally posted 2010-02-19 23:56:20. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
You are definitely exploring something very intense. Just because the desires are there, does not mean the jealousy can be overcome. It only takes one feeling too much jealousy for things to not work.
I can tell that I have the personal experience of watching my partner with another man, enjoyed it, and was intensely aroused by it, and then had sex with her again before the next sunrise. I am not like every man. She was not like every woman.
Whichever you choose. I sincerely hope that it does work for you and Ruf and that you are both really happy and satisfied with your experience.
I think we both agreed that, for now, what we have between the two of us is so intense that it is enough. But who’s to say what will happen in the future?
Hi Joanna! I posted a response on my blog.
http://fruitsoflibido.blogspot.com/2010/02/watching-your-spouse-with-someone-else.html
That was a very perceptive response! Thank you x
Hey there… The issues that you raise are very real, but I think that if you are both interested then perhaps you could explore the idea together. I’m sure there will be a swingers club local to you that you could go along to and have a look. You will find that everyone there will be very nice and not at all pushy.
Mrs Fun and myself have been along to a few swingers clubs and while we do not seek out couples to swap with we enjoy the atmosphere and have met a woman at one before too.
You will be able to experiment on whatever level you want, just watch, play just with your partner privately or publicly, maybe find a couple that you like and try same room sex without swapping partners, everyone into that lifestyle that I have met have been so nice and patient with new comers. You will find what works for you both, just keep it honest with each other and don’t force the issue if one of you feels uncomfortable.
That’s my 2 cents.
Mr Fun
Mr Fun recently posted..The Third Wheel
Hey Mr Fun – I think it’s premature to be investigating it quite yet. We need to establish ourselves in our own relationship without the distance factor first. There are too many areas where lack of communication because of the time apart could prove problematic.
From what I’ve read about swingers, it seems to work best when the woman is interested in other women. I am definitely not. I joke that because the sister closest to me in age is a lesbian she got all my potentially bi genes,too, because the idea of two women doesn’t even register as sex in my mind. I am certain my husband would not be down with another dude, he’s not bi curious either. Fortunately, he is all that I need anyway. Our sex life just continues to improve as we have gotten more comfortable talking about our desires, trying new things, etc.
Petunia, I’m with you. I guess I would do it for Ruf but it would be acting and I know that he would not go down on another man… nor would I actually want him to!