I eventually plucked up the courage to view it in its entirety.
Was it better or worse than just imagining them in my head? I’m not sure. When I first suspected the deception, my mind had been just as cruel in its depiction as any of the confirming images on the screen in front of me.
I guess some people would just have written a letter, but the anonymity of this piece of film permitted the whistleblower to have denial, whilst still delivering incontrovertible corroboration. It slipped into my inbox one day and the sender’s name meant nothing.
I wondered how he or she had been able to obtain such intimate and persuasive evidence? Had the guilty couple filmed themselves for their own entertainment and allowed the mpeg to get into the wrong hands? Or had someone else felt it their duty to entrap them and spill the beans by tittle-tattling to the wronged spouses?
Whatever the genesis of the action, it was me that had to deal with the consequences. Finally open my eyes, stop making excuses and see the extent of the betrayal. Watch treacherous limbs wrapped around each other. Duplicitous mouths peppering hot kisses onto each centimetre of disloyal flesh. Hair falling over perfidious faces. Devious hands exploring, encircling and penetrating. Panting breath and whispered endearments. Their squelching, sweaty, sordid lust filling me with an incandescent rage, spilling over into scalding tears of shame.
Each unfaithful caress cutting into my soul like a knife. Twisting and turning in my guts. Eviscerating my self-esteem and destroying my belief in the timeless beauty of our love. Torturing my heart before ripping it to shreds.
Why was I not enough? Was there something I didn’t do? Anything I could have done better?
For what purpose would someone send me this?
Now I have to face the facts behind my suspicions and decide upon some course of action that could affect two families.
And why the fuck do I feel the need to rewind and revisit ad nauseum…?
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