Rampant Rabbits - The Big O Review

Now, you will recall that I have not always been the biggest fan of rampant rabbits, having left a trail of discombobulated versions in my wake. I also intensely dislike the whole ‘ears’ thing.

However, after I reviewed the Rampant Rabbit Deluxe Thruster, I was rather more receptive to their charms – except for my feelings about the ears which were still just too sharp.

So, when the lovely people at Ann Summers asked if I would like to review the very newest incarnation of their rampant rabbit range – and before it had even hit the shops – I jumped at the chance to check out the latest improvements.

Sadly, when the postman handed over my latest parcel, I was also extremely busy, so it was another week before it even saw the light of day and then it was Ruf who did the opening.

After sewing the seeds of his possible redundancy with the Deluxe Thruster, the dastardly designers at Ann Summers have really pulled the plug on him this time because the Rampant Rabbit Big O! is HUGE!!! From base to tip it’s 12 inches long – with six inches of insertable length – and just under 1.5 inches in diameter. Made in a pretty pink-coloured TPE material that is extremely flexible and incredibly smooth, as toys go, it’s pretty appealling and I couldn’t wait to get started. But Ruf was in the driving seat and wanted to see just what it had under the bonnet so to speak. Inserting the three AA batteries and giving it a once over with an Ann Summers Buzz Fresh toy cleaner wipe, he began to put it through its paces.

It quickly became apparent that the truly innovative thing about the Rampant Rabbit Big O is that it has an oscillating shaft AND a rotating ‘rabbit ears’ clitoral stimulator. You can clearly see through the tranparent pink material to the articulated stem inside. This means that the shaft can revolve and wriggle in an anti-clockwise direction. So you’ve got the ears circling and vibrating your clit and the shaft gently spinning inside you – each with three different speeds.

Oh, but it gets better than that… and this is where the Big O comes in. You see, the designers have incorporated a special button that makes the ears go the other way. This means that you can have anticlockwise inside you and clockwise on your button, stirring up a vortex – now that sounds as if it’s going to take any woman to a climax pretty damn quick. The look of consternation on Ruf’s face was a picture. A toy that really did have the multi-tasking functionality of a man!

Pushing me back onto the bed, he handed it over and let me attempt the practical road test. The shaft is really easy to lube up – it feels great to the touch and there was something peculiarly arousing about just performing those hand movements. It’s also so smooth that it slides in pretty easily on its own, although it doesn’t seem as ‘fat’ as the Deluxe Thruster – but that might be because the slippery material produces less friction on entry.

Once inside, I did discover one major flaw with this big beastie. In contrast to the Big O, I’m not very tall, which means that my arms are not long enough to operate the controls with ease and hold the device in place. Of course, to ensure the optimum experience and negate his feelings of superfluousness, Ruf sprang into action.

The controls are divided into two columns set side by side, one for the ears, one for the shaft. + for up and – for down with three lights which glow to show which of the three speeds you’re at. He had great fun trying the various permutations – slow ears, medium shaft, fast shaft, medium ears – you get the picture. He even tried a spot of simultaneous thrusting, which rather hit the spot as far as I was concerned.

I just lay back and let him get on with it, submitting myself to the undulations and gyrations. I was very conscious that the ear problem seems to have been rectified – whether through this new soft material or because they were circling rather than jabbing at my clit, I’m not sure, but it definitely wasn’t irritating as with previous models.

Having my G Spot clamped between the two sets of movements was very pleasant indeed and it wasn’t long before I started to get quite hot and bothered. But Ruf being Ruf, one orgasm was never going to be enough and that’s when he played his trump card – the R/S button which sits astride the + and – controls. The moment he flipped that switch, I could feel the difference. With the two sets of circles going against each other, it was like centrifugal force and my pinioned G Spot didn’t stand a chance. The rampancy of this rabbit meant that it was being massaged from both sides and stimulated beyond the point of no return over and over again. The sensation was one of being desperate to pee and yet not uncomfortable in the way that usually is. It was most peculiar and I’m quite sure if I could get the hang of this squirty business, Ruf would have needed a towel because the stimulation was just so intense.

After some considerable period of time and a lot of howling on my part, I finally begged for mercy and, for the sake of my battered G Spot, he relented, gradually decreasing the strength of the circles until I lay there, legs akimbo, totally exhausted. Ruf unceremoniously removed our little pink friend with a squelch and its departure precipitated a gush of trapped fluid.

As he reclined on his side leaning on his elbow, he observed me caustically and muttered:

“So, you won’t be needing me any more then…?”

Reaching out, I grasped his hand and pulled him towards me until our lips met. With our arms around each other, all snuggled up, we both enjoyed the aftermath of a very successful toy, secure in the knowledge that pink plastic, no matter how cleverly engineered, can never replace this level of intimacy.

But it can certainly enhance it.

The next generation of Rampant Rabbits – not so fluffy these days.