Touch Vibrator

I giggled into the telephone: “I masturbated this morning…”

“Oh, really? And what were you thinking about?”

“Well, I had just seen a picture on screen of a girl bent over with a man’s fingers slowly insinuating themselves into her flange“. This is Ruf’s word of the moment. He loves it when I prance around the flat naked and then bend over, displaying my girlie bits for his approval. “But I can’t talk now, I have to go write up my wank.”

“You know, I think you are probably the only person I know who would ever join those words together to make a sentence!”

But back to my work earlier that day. I withdrew the package that I had received from the lovely Hayley and Jess at Ann Summers earlier that week. One of my elderly neighbours had received it on my behalf and I couldn’t help chortling at the thought of her reaction if she had known about the contents.

First up was the IN2U Bliss Bullet but, despite my best endeavours, I couldn’t work out how to get into it to activate the batteries so I will have to return to that. The next thing my hand closed around was the long-awaited Touch Shaft Vibrator.

Some weeks ago, I was asked if I had tried the Rabbit Touch by one of the Ann Summers reps on Facebook. My interest was immediately piqued, but you should all know by now my anathema to the ‘ears’ so I was excited to discover that there was a version with just the shaft. However, I have been kept on tenterhooks for several weeks because this brand new form of female vibrator was out of stock.

Giving it a once over with some anti-bacterial soap and then a Buzz Wipe, I lubed her up and proceeded to put her through her paces.

According to the on-site blurb, it is exclusive to Ann Summers and the first “shaft” vibrator to feature touch-sensitive technology; it changes its vibrations intuitively and without fuss, depending on how you use it. Thanks to the three sensitive bands running down the shaft, the Touch vibrator senses how you’re using it and changes its vibrating intensity to suit you.

OK, let’s get this show on the road. I inserted four AAA batteries and pressed the button on the end. It gave a buzz and then stopped. Repeat. Confusion. Read instructions again. That’s when I realised that you need to insert it to activate the vibrations. Now, without Ruf’s attentions, it takes a little while to get the Cake motor running these days so I reached into the drawer for my favourite wand stimulator to speed up the process. My clitoris and I have reached the stage where we know exactly what it takes to as they say ‘crack one off’ with the right equipment so it wasn’t long before I was lubing up the Touch and inserting it.

At 7.5″ long in total, of which a maximum of 6 inches is insertable and with a circumference of 5″, it’s not a big toy and you only have to push it in a short way before the first of the vibrations begins. A sort of long slow vibration. An inch or so more and you get a pulse and, finally, an inch after that, and closest to the base, a faster, more insistent vibration.

It’s very pleasant, but the contraction of my upper vaginal muscles in response kept ejecting it back down to the pulse setting – which was ok, but a bit frustrating as I had to hold it in situ if I wanted to retain the fast, strong vibe. It was as if it was keeping me on the edge but not quite letting me go over for the big push. I became aware of the washing machine on full spin in the kitchen and, all I could think of was that type of vibration on my clit at the same time.

Reaching again for the trusty wand vibrator, I multi-tasked. What I noticed most was that the Touch is very quiet so it was hard to hear what vibrations I was getting and difficult to feel because of the intensity of the clit stimulator. The aural stimulation from the kitchen blended into the noise of the wand and, once combined with the dual throbbing going on both in front of and behind my g spot, I was soon shaking and juddering with the familiar contractions that precipitate a very enjoyable climax.

Cake’s verdict – it’s fun but, for me, it was incomplete without the simultaneous clitoral stimulation so I will be interested to hear the views of those who have tried the Rabbit version.

Or maybe Ann Summers need to design an earless rabbit. I am quite willing to have my girlie bits rubbed by the soft round head of some other animal.

In the meantime Caroline Ann Summers Sharpe reminds me that this device has a whole host of Kegel and pelvic floor tightening opportunities – a second review from that aspect to follow.