Penile Dysfunction

I’m lucky. It’s not often that I’ve been on the receiving end of penile dysfunction.

Or not on the receiving end if we’re being literal.

And I don’t mean, in any way, to mock the afflicted here because I know, from bitter experience, that it can be one of the most gut-wrenchingly embarrassing problems that can happen to a bloke… even if it’s only a one-off.

It’s not so bad if it happens because the man has spent the last two days making love at every opportunity and the old fella is just telling him that enough is enough.

However, when he’s finally got himself into the boudoir of the most gorgeous woman, over whom he’s had the hots (and a semi-permanent erection) for several months, the last thing he wants is to find himself totally underwhelmed by his current state of rigidity.

So, the first thing to remember is not to panic. Getting flustered will only make things worse.

The chances are that his state of mind is the problem, rather than anything physical. It’s allowed itself to be intimidated by the thing of beauty that is spreading herself on the sheets before him, all wrapped up in a lacy froth of lingerie.

It is his mind that is making him feel unworthy and unable. He starts thinking about her previous sexual partners and their performance and how she may well be starting to make comparisons… which are definitely not going to be favourable to him.

What he should be focussing on is the fact that this woman is here because she wants him and, even if he’s struggling to produce the goods currently, she is going to be on his side in wanting him to succeed.

She’s also not stupid and will, undoubtedly, have noticed his predicament. This is the point at which her mind starts entering into the frey.

She’s lying there feeling all erotic and horny and her inner voice has started telling her that he can’t get an erection because she’s not attractive enough.

So, we can all see the problem. Two minds are now ganging up on their mutual arousal and the whole event is about to go down the pan.

Stop Right There!

She needs to hold out her hand and pull him down onto the bed with her. Engage in some kissing and reassure each other that there is no problem with attraction. The willingness is definitely there, it’s just the equipment that is having a bit of a start-up problem.

She needs to move on to indulging him with some gentle hand techniques or a little light tongue action. Nothing too intimidating. Just reaffirm how attractive she finds him.

If that doesn’t work – and sometimes it doesn’t because having her face pressed into his groin only highlights the failure of his manhoodm – then the roles need to be reversed.

The act of giving pleasure takes his mind off his own shortcomings and he can become embroiled in the pheromones and hormones emanating from her womanhood, a combination normally guaranteed to result in male arousal.

However, there may well be some days when factors beyond his control are going to wreck the proceedings. The stress of work matters or, sometimes, health problems of which he is unaware and if it happens a second time, a visit to the doctor would be advised to ascertain that there are no serious underlying issues.

For many men, the beginnings of penile dysfunction can be due to a lax pubococcygeus muscle, so it is worth investigating kegel and pelvic floor exercises for men and performing them on a daily basis. Working the love muscle can help sufferers to achieve and maintain their erection as well as giving them much more control over its movement when penetration has occured.

Whatever the cause or the cure, it is up to the woman in his life to show that any problems in this area are something that they need to work on together and that her love and desire for him remains unaffected.

Find out more about the causes of penile dysfunction and other intimate male issues.