I have issues with alcohol.
Sometimes I forget that I have… but then something happens in life that reminds me that I do.
A residue of my relationship with my father means that I have a deep-seated revulsion to watching a man I care about sit and drink himself into oblivion. Not puking but gradually losing himself, the person I love, in the soporific fug that over indulgence brings.
Is it just a man thing? This need to keep drinking until they are incoherent and lose all co-ordination? And then fall asleep where they fall, snoring contentedly?
Don’t get me wrong, I like a drink. I have been known to get ratarsed on my own as a single person… but not on a regular basis. I don’t need large quantities of alcohol to get me through a night on my own or to help me to enjoy myself.
However, when my lover, who has done so much to boost my self-esteem, has a few drinks and then suddenly starts remarking in public about something that makes me very insecure, it can serve to make all the marvellous progress falter. And make me doubt my very decision to hitch my star to his.
I spent too long with someone who would do that without a second thought to allow myself to remain in another relationship where that is possible.
Ruf and I have had words.
Milk is a different problem but I still have an issue with it because, for the last two decades, it has made me snotty, so I have gradually eradicated all dairy from my diet and feel much better for it.
However, my distaste was made worse by my children’s craving for the white stuff and their father’s insistence on fulfilling that need, when it had become obvious that both my offspring have an intolerance for it which shows itself in them as a build-up of nasal mucus leading to perpetual sniffing and ear infections. For him, it is another reason for the loudest of snores overnight. But, of course, he refuses to admit that he is snoring at all and so the latte he drinks before each bedtime cannot possibly be the cause.
Despite my reasoning to the contrary, he would make them big mugs of comforting hot chocolate and hot milk at every opportunity, fill the fridge with clotted cream and buttery puddings… and then leave me to stay up all night and deal with the resulting ear infections, which antibiotics will not teach because they are not bacterial infections but allergic reactions.
I have issues with both milk and alcohol.