Not long after I pulled up onto the drive and went inside the house, the door bell began to ring. One chime immediately after the other, as if the bell pusher was in a hurry.
It was the elderly neighbour from across the road. She and her husband had recently celebrated their diamond wedding anniversary, but he had not been well and, when I saw her through the glass window in the door and added in the urgency of her doorbell ringing, I made an assumption and my heart sank.
I opened the door ready for some sad news.
‘Oh, Joanna,’ she said. ‘I saw your car and I just had to come over. It’s just so lovely to see you. I wanted to make sure that you were alright?‘
Very relieved not to hear what I had feared about her husband, I told her that I was fine.
And that’s when her eyes filled with tears.
‘But we miss you. Is there really no chance that you will ever come back? It just seems so sad that two people who have been together for so long can’t make work it out… ‘
I reminded her that we were both very young when we first got together and that people change as they mature, but her reponse was to point out that she had been with her husband since she was 15 and she was now 87.
‘I remember you when you first moved in and you both used to walk to the station together. You used to wear a little grey suit. And, then, when I used to see you every day with the children. I’ve watched you grow up and now I feel as if I have lost part of my family.’
I hugged her and kissed her then, because I too was taken back to happier days when I was truly in love with my own Husband. In my mind’s eye, I could see the pair of us walking down the road, my arm linked through his. I couldn’t remember when that had last happened.
But I could not reassure her and give her better news.
I had just asked the realtor if it was possible to extend the contract on my flat rental for a year.
In response to her question, I had to tell her that I wasn’t going to be coming back.
But that she would still see me because, as I had over the last few months, I would be returning to the house two or three times a week.
I have left him, not my children.
As I hugged her again, she wiped away her tears and assured me that she wouldn’t discuss anything with the other neighbours and then she slowly made her way back down the path.
It’s just so strange that it is the neighbours who show more sorrow at my departure than my family.
My first time here…followed you from Sage.
I don’t know what to say…but I’m about to cry reading this.
(((HUGS)))
Hello and all hugs gratefully received. It is an extraordinary time really. Full of intense highs and lows… but the overall feeling for me is that it was the right thing.
It’s true though, isn’t it? Often the passages in life can impact others more than ourselves. Quite touching, really.
I know, I felt so strange as she walked back down the path. I wanted to much to make it right for her, but I just couldnt do it any more
Sending some positive thoughts your way.
As gratefully received as the hugs x
With only a few exceptions, I have always felt that the ending of such a significant relationship is a sad event. I know there are so many reasons, and I don’t begrudge any their choices, so long as I allowed to feel it is sad that something that was once so special has disappeared from the world.
So many people are so surprised when I tell them. I find that hard to believe. I thought I gave out enough clues… but, clearly, I am a better actress than I think. I appreciate and agree with their sadness and hope that they will stay impartial. The worst part is when people start to take sides
We never know do we?? Exactly how far our reach is to those around us.
Sometimes the elderly have a tougher time with change than we are aware of. You were a ‘staple’ for her it seems…and the changes so sad on many levels, sounds as though it affected her personally.
I believe her when she says that I feel like part of her family. She has so many grands and great grands and, because we have lived over the road for so long, we are just an extension of that. She has been the most wonderful neighbour for so many years and I hate upsetting her