Midlife Crisis - Women

Around about the age of 40, what we commonly refer to as a midlife crisis can mean that things started to change for some women. Bad tempered outbursts, hot sweats, lack of sleep, the feeling that we have no identity of our own and the female equivalent of a raging hard-on.

Many will notice a surge of testosterone prior to their Menopause which can leave them temperamental and sexually insatiable – and this is particularly noticeable (and often rather annoying) when their men folk begin to become aware of a gradual lessening of libido at the same age. Sex and Menopause is the most peculiar thing!

But it’s the mood swings and hot sweats that can really get a girl down. Fortunately, my Menopause seems to have been relatively calm in comparison to many of the other women of my acquaintance. I get the occasional hot flush, where my cheeks grow scarlet and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. The mood swings were harder to control – especially when I was embroiled in the emotional turmoil that existed back in my old life in the state of flux that existed in both my marriage and my relationship with my children.

However, I am convinced that my lack of real discomfort has been to do with a change in my diet that occurred as a result of meeting my vegan, Ruf. The introduction of soya and legumes – and a multitude of ways to incorporate both into a healthy for delicious meal – has been a major factor and I urge all women to investigate this strategy fully once they reach a ‘certain age’.

Around 50-55, these symptoms will have lessened considerably as the hormonal imbalance begins to settle and full Menopause sets in.  Many women complain of a drop in their sexual desire for a variety of reasons but the most common will be problems with vaginal thinning due to the reduction in oestrogen supplies.

Ensuring that your diet is rich in soya products, which contain natural phyto-oestrogens, can also be very helpful with this irritating deterioration.  However, the old adage, use it or lose it, should be remembered.  Regular vaginal activity, whether it be sexually with a partner or masturbation, or through the performance of kegel and pelvic floor exercises is vital to retaining and restoring good muscle control and circulation to this area.

Make sure that you use all the aids at your disposal.  It’s not wrong to need the help of additional lubricants and these can assist your body to prepare itself and add to enjoyment during sex. And using a vibrator or pelvic floor stimulator can help to keep the thinning and discomfort to a minimum.

Regular exercise is also vital to the general sexual health of both sexes as obesity can put great pressure on the sling of muscles that form the pelvic floor and hold all the organs in place.  If the tension is allowed to slacken off, organs can push through and prolapse into the cavities below them.

Walking or yoga are relaxing but energetic enough to help burn off those calories and help to keep the maturing baby boomer in good shape through into old age.

Both these pursuits also have the effect of giving you time and space to meditate and rationalise, resulting in a very calming influence that helps with any mood swings caused by the hormonal rollercoaster of Menopause.

They are also ways to get a new interest – a new you that does not leave you as an add-on to someone else. You’re not someone’s wife or mother – you’re you.

My own personal mid-life identity crisis was sorted by golf, martial arts and yoga – pursuits where other participants did not necessarily know my husband, my children or my family.

To those people I was ME, not an extension of those other entities.

So there you have it – the things that can help to keep the midlife crisis for women to a minimum – soya, yoga and masturbation.

Sorted!