Menopause and Orgasms

Now you all know me well enough to sure that Ruf has always been able to give me lots of climaxes.

But I have to confess something that it is really hard to write down.

I am entering full Menopause and orgasms are becoming much harder to achieve.

It’s not so much that the lack of hormones seems to numb my vagina, more that the neural connection from the sensitive parts to my brain seems to have gone awry and it takes more stimulation to achieve the desired effect.

Add in the fear factor that I will get a UTI or another kidney infection as a result of over-enthusiastic pumping on Ruf’s part in an attempt to force the issue and I have the beginnings of a problem that has both physical and psychological strings attached.

We’re both getting older and we can’t expect to ‘come like a train’ every time we make love – especially if it’s the fifth or sixth time on the second day of a weekend.

Where once, we would attribute any numbness of my erogneous zones to the amount of activity in which they had been involved previously, now we have to recognise that this lack of sensitivity can occur in our earlier encounters too, purely because of the lack of oestrogen.

This powerful female hormone keeps all our womanly bits in good shape and my aging friends are all complaining about the results of its decrease. Shrunken wombs and atrophying vaginas, lesser lubrication and general loss of libido – despite our best endeavours with Kegel machines and pelvic floor exercises.

Medical practitioners push us in the direction of synthetic hormone replacements but allergies in my female relatives make me reluctant to go down that path and, in the meantime, I have Ruf’s confusion to address.

When it comes to sex and Menopause, it’s hard to come to terms with a body that used to work so beautifully becoming more spasmodic in its responses. His little face – when once I mentioned my lack of climax – was too hurt for me to contemplate a time when it won’t work properly at all.

So we sat down and I tried to explain it to him. The effects of my oestrogen deficient state and my mental concerns upon my climaxes. It’s not something that he is or is not doing.

It is not that I desire him any less but the imbalance in my hormones means that my body cannot be guaranteed to respond/react to his activities or even perform in the same way that it did two years ago.

We both understand now that these things can no longer be taken for granted as in the careless days of our youth – or even my Roman spring, given the age difference between myself and my toy boy. This is the autumn of my life and to preserve its functionality, I have to be kinder to my body.

It’s only Menopause and the orgasms will still happen – but being fewer, each one will be more precious and appreciated.