Men and the Bell End

Dr Gordon Gallup, an evolutionary biologist, has studied a variety of penises – both human and animal – in his attempts to prove his theory that humans are hardwired to be unfaithful.

He suggests that our male ancestors had two urges – to sleep around, spreading their seed and to form a bond with one woman so that he could procreate and care for his progeny, thus ensuring the continuation of his line.

The wellbeing of any baby was dependent upon both the care of the mother along plus the feeding and protection of the father, but no man wanted to waste his energy looking after someone else’s sprogs.

The penis of our closest living relative, the chimpanzee is tapered towards the end, whilst the human penis is of uniform width and at the end is the coronal ridge. Although, having said that, the shape of the tip of the penis itself, is ideally suited for parting the two sets of lips that protect the entrance to the vagina itself.

Dr Gallup, however, believes that the bell-shaped end to the penis developed for a very specific purpose – to displace the semen of a woman’s previous lovers.

His experiments involved producing a substance similar in texture and fluidity to human semen and using a dildo and a transparent fake vagina to show that, when introducing the penis into a vagina which already contains semen, 80-90% of that deposit could be pushed away from the entrance to the cervix by the shape of the bell end. The ridge is crucial because it prevents the fluid from being able to move back up again.

So you can leave your own semen and remove any rival’s deposits. According to Dr Gallup, it was the evolution of a paternal assurance tactic to guard against being cuckolded and forced to bring up another man’s child.