The medical issues were all hers. I wasn’t… firing blanks.
The drugs were changing her personality. She was moody and sometimes vicious, less and less like the woman I loved.
…And when I think of those we left behind at the clinic, risking bankruptcy for a baby whilst barely able to speak to each other…
This was a fascinating and honest insight into a man’s role in the infertility treatment of his wife.
It doesn’t really matter whether the problem lies with the woman or the man, you just truly wonder why any couple would continue with this process after being unsuccessful repeatedly.
It must eat up their lives and their love for each other, that desperation to have a child.
And yet, clearly that desire overrides everything else and, if it can be achieved, it can complete a relationship, whether it is using someone else’s eggs or sperm, by adopting… or even just by fostering.
Having a child in your life can change the way you perceive things so dramatically.
Whilst not being able to have one can breed such terrible feelings of fault and blame that the lack can rip a partnership to shreds.
Originally posted 2010-06-08 15:26:19. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
I think it is one of the strongest human/animal desires is to breed. I also think all men want to breed (not just screw) multiple women. That might be some of the rub when the inability to do so arises.
It's my big fear about Ruf. He has no kids. Will he one day blame me? He says he has made the decision and he is happy to make the choice but the doubt still remains in my mind…
Well he is a grown assed man. If he has all the facts before deciding then he can live with his decision.
It's official, I love you Sage :)
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Yes Joanna,
We men, when make that TOTAL LOVE CONNECTION can flip that switch, because our life has become COMPLETE with the LOVE of a (good) GREAT Woman!!!!!
We can fill the void with others children. You have told us of the interaction between Ruf and his nieces and nephews.
My advice to you, about this subject…….. Relax, and Love HIM!!!!
I’m learning :)
A friend read a similar article today! The psychological problems (mostly of the mum-to-be, apparently) and the treatment almost broke the couple apart but they were eventually successful. Except their relationship has not recovered, three or four months after the birth. Early days, I guess.
As for not being a parent… I understand Ruf’s point of view. Kids are great and I’ve done my share of child-minding and chauffeuring for others but no thanks. I’m happy to be an evolutionary dead-end!
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