We sold the house 25 years to the day after we had first purchased it.
And we want so much to keep the lawyers out of it, to divide what little equity remains equally.
There have been sacrifices on both sides to try to keep things fair.
But now we are told that there has to be some kind of court order formalising our financial agreement.
You must have a share of his pension.
You don’t have to pay her maintenance if she doesn’t look after the children.
There is no grey area, it is all black and white to them.
And they hover like buzzards, waiting to pick the last remaining scraps of flesh from the carcass of our love.
All endings are painful. I hope that the pain will not linger for you.
nitebyrd recently posted..Come On Get Happy!
I couldn’t help a wry smile. My sister is one of those vultures, though she would prefer the term ‘mediator’. She lectures in Law at the Open University, but is called in by local law firms as required and she is usually successful in bringing the parties together precisely to avoid a pointless and protracted war of attrition in the courts.
Although distressing to the people involved at the time, there is a need for someone impartial to take a detached and dipassionate view of exactly such things as pension rights, otherwise what may seem an annoying detail now will fester into years of bitterness, as has happened with our own mother.
Fat Controller recently posted..Changes
My parents’ divorce was a nightmare, which was doubly insane because there was nothing to fight over except a house and custody of our teenage brother. But there was a pension. Which my father had to take early due to ill health. He was dead within four years of the divorce. End of pension. Nightmare for nothing but the legal people did ok. You have done well, Cake, to remain on such civil terms with your former husband.
toby recently posted..Troubled Seas
Currently keeping a worried eye on a friend who tried to go that route of divorce. She ended up taking advantage of his attitude (which was bred more out of the desire to just get it over with) and taking everything. Damn near every tangible item.
I fail to believe that there is ever a truly easy divorce no matter what.
Dangerous Lilly recently posted..The Rabbit Vibrator: An Essay (Or Buying Guide)
Nitebyrd, it all just seems so sad :(
FC, I appreciate that there is a need when things are acrimonious but I think we are intelligent human beings who are capable of sorting it out for ourselves. We both realise that there is a possibility of come-back at a later date because there are no solicitors but to be forced into using one seems very draconian.
Oh, Toby, that sounds hideous! And we are trying at all costs to avoid legal intervention as we would rather use the money ourselves.
Lilly, if you knew how many people have said ‘take him for all he’s worth’! It’s such a horrible attitude. I still care about him – he kept me safe and with money in my pocket for 30 years, why would I want to see him ruined? It’s just not something that I desire and I have tried to go out of my way to ensure that we both remain with a roof over both our heads. What would my children think of me if I took more than my share and left their father destitute?