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Lester

Lester is one of the group of young children belonging to Ruf’s neighbours.

He’s very fond of Ruf, regularly knocking on his door to have a chat.

He has also taken quite a shine to me. If he sees my car pull up, he comes running out of his house to engage me in conversation.

It’s very sweet and he always brings a smile to my face.

However, one particular day, he was getting a bit of a bee in his bonnet about us being couped up in the flat for hours on end and took to knocking on the door at various intervals, whilst shouting through the letterbox to ask me what I was doing.

Notwithstanding the fact that it’s very rude to talk with your mouth full, the reply of ‘Fellating your neighbour’, whilst truthful, seemed a bit of an overshare for a four-year-old.

I decided it was probably best not to respond.

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17 comments to Lester

  • Trixie

    Oh dear! I think you did the best thing by not replying, lol!

  • BenefitScroungingScum

    Oh no! It’s always balls on rooves at inopportune moments I find! BG x

  • scarlet-blue

    You remind me of Samantha from Sex in the City!
    Sx

  • B

    ha ha ha ha ha ha!
    cake. I’m rolling on the floor, crying AND pissing my pants.

    funny girl.

    Oh lord, I *dare* you!

  • The Troll

    Grrrherhahahahahaha!

  • Mike

    OMG thats funny! Hope he didn`t get any eye fulls while shouting though the letter box!

  • Ms. Inconspicuous

    *giggle*

    “Someone will explain when you get older.”

  • justme

    Not the window cleaner’s son is he??

  • Gorilla Bananas

    Poor chap. You need to use a stock phrase like “I’m eating beef jerky”. He’ll work it out when he’s older.

  • Helga Hansen

    I can just imagine Lester telling Mummy and Daddy that the nice lady that comes to visit Ruf was eating him…

  • Riff Dog

    Ha! Poor Lester never gets to know about the good stuff!

  • Kevin Musgrove

    Did you not tell him that Ruf had a puncture and you were blowing him back up?

  • Ro

    It’s bad enough when it’s your own children cramping your style; when it’s kids from down the street … !

    Hasn’t Lester learned yet to avoid all those dangerous adults who might try to abuse him?

  • ez cheese

    That is Mastercard commercial priceless right there.

  • Mr. Nighttime

    So, that is the current state of sex education in the U.K. ;-)

    Reminds me of a joke I heard many years ago.

    Little Billy is in his bed one night, when he hears strange sounds coming from his parent’s bedroom. He cracks open the door to see mom and dad fucking each other.

    The next day at breakfast, Billy says “Daddy, daddy, what were you doing to Mommy last night?”

    “Well Billy, that is how your mommy and I show our love for each other, and how you get a little baby brother or sister.”

    “Ok.” says Billy.

    The next night, Billy hears more strange sounds from his parents bedroom. He goes and cracks the door open to their room, and sees mommy giving daddy a blow job.

    The next morning, Billy asks, “Mommy, mommy, what were you doing to daddy last night?”

    “Well Billy, that’s how mommy gets jewelry.”

  • nitebyrd

    I wonder what Lester’s MOTHER was doing, as it appears Lester has too much unsupervised time.

  • Don

    Wow – good call on that one… At least you didn’t leave the door unlocked or something; now THAT would have been an education.

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