Leaving Your Husband - A Woman of Independent Means

It’s almost a year since  I told my Husband that I was leaving and I wanted a divorce.  At the time, he raised no objection and I began the search for a flat that I could rent, which would keep me close to my children, who would remain with him in their family home as this would cause the least disruption to their lives.

I would look for a place close by to allow me to return each day to see them and sort out the laundry and other household chores in return for some form of financial maintenance.  Our circumstances are such that it seemed more sensible for him to continue to fund my life by paying me to do those things rather than someone else.  Naturally, it was agreed that in the evenings and at weekends, I would not use my key and would call first to make sure it was convenient to come over.

Having got one of the most traumatic moments that a woman will ever have to face out of the way, I thought the rest of the job would be plain sailing.   What I didn’t bank on was that I would need to prove that I was financially independent before I could even think about signing a lease on a new place of my own.

Originally, I was going to buy somewhere, but the extortionate rate of interest they wanted to charge me as a first-time buyer without a full-time job – even though I’ve actually been a joint mortgagee for nearly 30 years and had a large sum of money to put down as a deposit – and the fact that it looked as if the Market was going to crash again meant that I decided to start out by renting.

It took me some months to find a flat that I actually liked – I saw some truly hideous places for which the landlords were charging megabucks.

Carpets that had clearly been in situ for many a year and rooms that had obviously been occupied by wild students.  Windows that looked out onto sills piled high with pigeon faeces. Balconies overlooking junk-strewn parking lots.   Apartments with ‘en-suite’ bathrooms which were really the only bathroom but had a door from the hall and another one from the bedroom.  Flats where there was no off-street parking in areas close to the local shops and bars which meant that leaving the car somewhere safe was going to be a continual problem.  Or even just getting a parking space close to home at all.

If there was something worth having, you had to put down a deposit straightaway or it would be snapped up by someone else.  It didn’t help that everyone was downsizing by renting smaller places and subsidising that rent with the larger amount that they could obtain on their bigger home.  Add in to that the dire state of the stock exchange and the interest rates for savers.  Suddenly, everyone was trying to move their money into property.  They were buying up one and two bedroom flats without even looking at them, solely to move into the buy-to-let market and, hopefully, make a killing once the market rose again in a year or two.

So, when I finally found somewhere that I liked, I thought I’d done the hard part. It was explained to me that I would be signing a contract for an initial six-month trial period which would lock both me and the landlord in for that time frame. After that, unless I wanted to request a new term contract, things would move onto a rolling basis where two months’ notice on either side was required.

I would need to put down a deposit of the first month’s rent, plus a payment to the letting agent to cover service fees and contracts.  I was a bit unsure about these fees as I have been told that it is actually not legal for letting agents to charge a ‘finders fee’ to the lessee.  This should be covered by the lessor. However, if you’re in the UK, you might want to investigate this further as every letting agent that I saw mentioned some form of payment by me to them and I didn’t want to rock the boat on my first flat rental.  I was too fragile to engage in any more fighting or mental pain, being content to find a place to live so I could get away from my Husband and give myself time to lick my wounds.

I had found a place where I felt safe and secure and thought that I could allow myself to heal.

That’s when the letting agent gave me the forms for the rental agreement.

Included in the pack was a set of forms from an external ‘vetting’ company. They wanted details of my employer and my bank account, which I duly sent off, together with the addresses of my ‘character’ referees. These had not been requested, but I thought that, if I was being ‘vetted’, it would look better if I offered these anyway.

I called my employer to advise him of my current marital situation and that he would be receiving a call from the vetting agency to confirm the details of my employment and salary.

A few days later, I got a call from the letting agent. My application had been turned down. Apparently, my monthly salary did not cover the monthly rental on the flat.

Well, hey, Sherlock, I could have told you that. That’s why I sent a copy of my new individual bank statement showing a lump sum payment and the first instalment of my monthly maintenance. The balance on the account more than covered the rent for the next six months.

But this was not good enough apparently. Because the money had only been in that account in my name for a month, I was not considered a ‘woman of independent means’.

To qualify for this ‘tag’, you have to have had £15,000 in an account in your own name for the preceding six months.

So, for any women out there who are thinking about separation or divorce, you need to bear this in mind and ensure that you have such an account containing the appropriate balance.

If you do not, and you are not earning a figure that exceeds the monthly rental amount then, not only will you have to put down a month’s rent in advance as your deposit, but you will also be required to pay six months rent in full before you are allowed to move in. This is without any guarantees protecting that money if the landlord should get into difficulty and the property is repossessed by the mortgage provider before your initial contract has run its course.

And, just to make it clear, it wouldn’t matter if you were the recipient of a million pound divorce settlement.  No, if that money had not been in a bank account in your sole name for the previous six months, it would not count.

What really rubs salt in the wound is that lessees who can provide a paycheck that proves they can cover the rent each month are considered a better risk than someone who actually physically has the full six month’s rental in the bank – even though their employment might be terminated tomorrow without any redundancy settlement.

The system seems to be rigged against women who have stayed at home for two decades to raise their kids and care for their husband but who now want to start a new life for themselves.

So, if you’re thinking that your marriage may not last the distance, ladies, you need to start saving now.  £15,000.  In an account in your own name.  Six months before you even think about moving out.

If you’ve lost that loving feeling and want more information on how to get a divorce click here