When I first saw the Horn On The Cob Vibrator on the Ann Summers’ website, I couldn’t stop giggling.
It was just what I had been looking for. Something fun and unusual to take on our romantic weekend away. In the end, it remained in its bag – our lovemaking was just that and there was no need or indeed room for such fripperies to interfere with the serious business of expressing our love for each other.
A week later, on a sunny Saturday morning with Test Match Special on the radio in the background, it was a whole different ballgame and Ruf’s reaction when I produced our toy of the day was equally amused.
The Horn on The Cob is what it says on the box. A giant golden phallus of a vibrator in the shape of a corncob, right down to the little yellow nodules and ridges which help to dissipate the vibration into the innermost reaches of those sensitive areas inside. Minus the usual protective covering of those big green leaves, it looked cooked and ready to eat, making my mouth salivate. A tentative lick revealed the familiar texture minus the taste bud explosion. It had a vaguely familiar smell, but that was probably more plastic than vegetable being made of latex-free TFP.
It takes two AA batteries and is advertised as waterproof – although I would question that with the model that I had which didn’t seem to seal tightly after I had inserted the batteries. On top of the bottle-top screw-type seal is a separate dial to control the intensity of the vibration and that can be a bit fiddly if you’ve got short arms because the cob itself is 8.5″ long. Fortunately, Ruf was on hand to handle the affair and he lubed it up whilst I made ready with the Ultra 10 Rocket.
I have to say that the shape of the cob is fabulous. The use of the point to facilitate entry through my tight muscles was imperative and made it a far easier experience than some of its blunter colleagues. Resting it with just a small part of its length inside me, I could feel the vibrations in my bottom and, combined with the ones on my external girly parts from the Rocket, it was very pleasant indeed.
But then he started to intrude it further. And that’s when the nobbles came into play. The cob is 5.5″ in girth and it feels somewhat larger than the Rabbits, filling me completely and ensuring that I could feel the effects of those little corn nibs. The gradual spreading of the canal as the gradient filled me out to accommodate its full capacity bringing forth a cascade of excited squeals or appreciation.
After a selection of good climaxes stimulated by both clitoral and penetrative action, Ruf withdrew the cob. The spread of my juices running down the niblet channels was reminiscent of the rivulets of butter which normally adorn such a culinary treat. I was not surprised when Ruf licked it off in the expected fashion. It made me smile because earlier a restaurant critic had been talking about the fact that there were only so many ways to describe the crunch of fresh corn on the cob.
In this case there was no such crunching but the absence of any of those stringy bits was certainly much appreciated as he slurped his way through what he described as a delicious warm sauce with a fabulous aroma.
And that’s when he wiped his mouth on his forearm before plunging in and finishing the job himself.
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