Green Lubricant

When you’re dating a vegan with a very strong ethical purpose, it’s always good to find a product that will allow you to be more eco-friendly. So, when we were asked to go green with Astroglide “Natural”, I jumped at the chance to review a green lubricant.

Ruf was a true trooper on your behalf that weekend. Totally selfless in the pursuit of your lubricating pleasure, he submitted himself wholeheartedly to my attentions as we tested the two ‘green’ Astroglides and compared them to their regular sister in the purple bottle.

This product testing involved the application of a large quantity of different lubricants to his personal soldier and then assessing their endurance when subjected to a great deal of back and forth hand movement.

As I have mentioned before, one of the great joys of original Astroglide is a super-slipperiness that is extremely long lasting. However, in order to achieve those two laudable qualities, it is made with glycerin, parabens and some other chemicals, substances which can disagree with a few folk on both physical and ethical grounds.

Being a company that listens to its customer base, the manufacturers of Astroglide have produced two new versions, which should satisfy everyone’s requirements. One is a glycerin and paraben-free formula and the other a personal lubricant comprising natural botanicals and plant extracts.

This means that it does not contain glycerin, flavourings, fragrances, alcohol or hormones, with the ingredients listed on the website being Xylitol (a form of sweetener derived from plants), Aloe Vera, Vitamins C and E, Pectin (from fruit), Chamomile Flower Extract and Purified Water. Very healthy!

However, on closer inspection of the packaging, I found an interloper, a rogue ingredient that had not been mentioned before – methylparaben. Since I’m a thorough researcher, I felt it incumbent upon me to query this inclusion of a chemical in what is supposed to be a natural product.

I am told that it can still be F.D.A approved as a natural product because the amount of Methylparaben is so minute that it can be classed as Natural.

According to Wikipedia, Methylparaben is an anti-fungal agent which is produced naturally and found in several fruits, primarily blueberries. There is no evidence that methylparaben is harmful at concentrations typically used in body care or cosmetics so it is considered as GRAS (generally regarded as safe) for food and cosmetic antibacterial preservation. Methylparaben is readily metabolized by common soil bacteria, making it completely biodegradable.

Personally, I am happy to use it but some people do have a paraben allergy and I would point those individuals in the direction of the Glycerin and Paraben-free Astroglide.

Just like the original Astroglide formula, the new green ‘Natural’ Astroglide is water-based, water soluble, latex safe and the accompanying blurb claims that it will also provide long lasting, non-sticky lubrication.

When you squirt it into the palm of your hand, the clear liquid itself is very similar to its regular sister. With all those botanicals, I expected it to have more of an odour but, unless you stick your nose over the bottle, you can’t really smell anything. My first impression was that it’s not quite as slippery as the original formula, so you do have to use a little more, especially if you’re applying it to toys or the probe of a neuro-muscular stimulator for Kegel exercising.

To add a little help to regular intercourse, Natural works just as well as Original but, if you’re using it as an aid to male masturbation, it does require additional applications as it will become ‘sticky’ through the friction between the palm of the hand and the shaft of the penis. (The Glycerin and Paraben-free formula fared much better here.)

As with many vegan/natural substitutes, you have to weigh up the advantages of not being exposed to all those nasty chemicals when you are engaged in that most natural of human interactions.  I believe the majority of health-conscious consumers would agree that having to use a bit more of the product in certain pursuits is neither here not there.

It is a fraction more expensive than the other products in the range but I think this is the case with most natural products, as it is cheaper to produce the chemical alternatives.

All things considered,  Astroglide “Natural” is a very worthwhile addition to the green lubricant market.