You say “I love you, boy”
I know you lie
I trust you all the same
I don’t know why
‘Cos when my back is turned
My bruises shine
Our broken fairytale
So hard to hide
I still believe
It’s you and me to the end of time
When we collide we come together
If we don’t we’ll always be apart
I’ll take a bruise, I know you’re worth it
When you hit me, hit me hard
Many of Horror, Biffy Clyro
An article in a local magazine about a drop in centre for male victims of domestic abuse caught my eye and made me want to investigate further. It’s not something that we really think about. Domestic violence is something that men perpetrate on women – isn’t it?
Figures released last year by the Crown Prosecution Service in the UK showed that the number of women convicted of domestic abuse between 2005 and 2010 had increased by 169%. That’s up by over two and a half times whereas the number for the number of men convicted had only doubled, although the majority of domestic violence convictions were male and these were up from 28,000 in 2005 to 55,000 in 2010.
Reading some of the reports, you can see gentle giants repeatedly physically and mentally attacked by their petite wives and girlfriends.
Most did not want to complain to the police for fear of appearing wussy, or even because they did not think they would be believed.
A new culture of female violence has been blamed for the increase of incidents but others also cite evidence that men are now more willing to report the incidents.
For those men who are affected by this unpleasant situation, there is a Government funded charity called Respect where you can get help and advice – whether you are a victim or indeed a male perpetrator of domestic violence.
Having said that, there are only 72 spaces in 20 refuges for men, compared with 7,500 in the UK for women.
Mankind, a counselling service for male victims of abuse – physical, emotional and sexual – says that 3 in 20 men are affected by sexual violence. It can be physical, mental, coercive or manipulative and can involve women as well as men as the perpetrators. Regardless of how it felt at the time, problems may occur later on in life.
Some organisations do not recognise that this type of thing happens but the CPS state that there is no bias or lack of concern from them when dealing with male victims of this type of crime.
If you would like more clarification about whether you are being abused by the woman in your life, read this list.