Dave from sextoy.com asked me if I would take a look at some of his on-site articles and this one really tickled my fancy.
1. Glass dildos are works of art. Well, yes, I have to admit that I do find glass dildos quite beautiful, but I’m not sure I’d want one on the coffee table when my kids came to call.
2. Turn your home into a dance studio by installing a simple to set up stripper pole. Throw some mirrors around it and a disco ball and pump up the volume. Your girlfriends will be ready to get down and party. I think you might be right on this one, Dave. Although, my daughter once announced that she was thinking of taking pole dancing lessons and looked askance at me when I asked if I could come along too. Apparently, we’re close, but not that close.
3. Add ambiance to your rooms with candles from Cal Exotics. Not only do they create mood lighting and scent the room, but they are erotic massage candles in disguise. Burn first, and then apply. I do like aromatic candles around the flat when Ruf is about to visit. In fact he knows he’s on a promise if he arrives and the first thing that greets him in the stairwell is the waft of vanilla. However, I don’t care what Madonna and Willem Dafoe did in that film, I do not find hot wax alluring.
4. Are you a huge fan of Borat? Then, you need Eldorado’s The Fist that was used in the movie. Tell people it is a part of your movie memorabilia collection. OMG, OMG, OMG, I would love one of those for Ruf to try. He does have one of those sleeves somewhere.
5. This little gem was designed to put out in the open. It’s an ingenious jewelry box (sex toy storage box) that’s impenetrable unless you know the secret code. Inside is tons of storage space good enough to hold your favorite toys. There’s no picture, Dave! But I bet no ‘jewellery box’ would be able to handle my collection of sex toys ;P
6. Clone you’re boyfriend’s dick as a candle. Get A Clone a Willy Candle Kit. When he’s out of town, his dick will be there. And when you get sick of the replica of him or dump him, you’ll have a great candle to use by your bed. This is some old Inspector Gadget kind of shit. Now this would be fun. Ruf and I have our own pair of Clone A Willy Alberts – one at his flat and one at mine. The ultimate vibrator as far as I’m concerned because I know it fits me like a glove.
7. You’re patriotic and a fan of Obama. The Ozam Group’s Head O State Obama Dildo in Presidential Gold looks like high art and can definitely sit on the coffee table or even as a centerpiece on your dining room table. A great conversation piece when the republicans come over that doubles as pleasure central for you. No idea what this is, Dave
8. You’ll look like a rockstar when you have Topco’s Joanna Angel Doggie Style Love Doll to hang out with. Go to the drive-in to watch B-Horror flicks, swimming at the beach, or sit her in the corner and make your buddies envious. The perfect date! Just don’t introduce her to your parents. There’s a ‘Joanna’ Doggie Style Love Doll? Suddenly I feel rather grubby!
9. Empowered Products Pink Silicone Lube looks like a bottle of perfume. And it says Pink, just like that line at Victoria Secret. They’ll have to get close to really figure out what it is. And then who will feel like the fool? Not you! Now this could work if they did it in a Chanel Allure bottle!
10. Honey Bear Lube looks like a real bottle of honey. But instead of pouring it all over your partner and licking it off, lube it up and get it on. Whether you are on a date with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters or doing the horizontal mambo, this lube with keep you slick. No good for us, Dave. Ruf is a vegan and won’t have anything that even pretends to be honey poured on his nether regions!
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