I hate condoms.
Whatever you want to call them, I dislike them intensely. For years and years I used them with my Husband. The three times that we didn’t, I fell pregnant. Naturally, I never let him near me without his wearing a hat. He would do what he had to do in the darkness and then disappear to the toilet to dispose of it. No wet patches, no problem. Half the time I didn’t even bother to wake up.
When Ruf and I got together, he got himself tested for everything to ensure he was clean. The first visit, I was well beyond mid-cycle and had had the symptoms that told me I had ovulated almost a week ago. He hated condoms because they stop him from coming so I agreed to let him go bareback. The first few times he pulled out before he came but, eventually, I just wanted him to stay there. I was pretty sure it was safe and I wanted him to come inside me. It was glorious. I have loved it every time. Sharing that most intimate of moments and holding him safe in my arms when he was at his most vulnerable, feeling him shooting into me and then gradually spilling out.
For 18 joyous months, we played Russian Roulette with my cycle until one month I just took a chance. My periods were still pretty regular, with one or two exceptions so why I just didn’t think I was fertile at my advanced age, I don’t know. It was stupid and I have recounted how I paid the price for that stupidity. To have to do so again would be construed as extremely careless.
As a result, we have this horrible situation with the condoms – he finds it really hard to come when wearing them. And it is made all the worse by the fact that I have a latex allergy. Fortunately, this does not seem to affect my nether regions so we can use normal condoms. But it does affect my face and my hands very badly. This means that I cannot touch or be touched by anything that has had the latex on it – his hands, his cock… It makes for a very interesting conundrum for one who adores sucking out the last remnants of her man’s come so he can fully experience the aftershocks. We have tried the non-latex Durex but these are akin to wearing a plastic bag on your dick and so their reliability in terms of staying in place is rather suspect.
So we are looking at other methods of contraception. At my age, I really don’t want to have to start taking the Pill with all the consequent side effects and possible cancer risks.
The latex allergy means that a cap is also out.
The idea of an IUD fills me with horror due to the story I have recounted before of my friend who had to have hers surgically removed from her pelvic cavity six weeks after her baby was born with disabilities but also because the whole idea just makes me feel so squeamish, particularly it’s insertion in the light of the nature of the procedure that I underwent recently.. However, if you have thoughts that can reassure me (by comment or by email if you are shy), I would be most grateful.
It is not fair to ask Ruf to have a vasectomy because he is still young enough to want to have children in the future if things don’t work out between us.
So, I would welcome your suggestions and experiences as, at the moment, there seems to be only one viable option.
I shall be visiting the doctor tomorrow to discuss having my tubes tied.
Originally posted 2007-09-26 03:45:00. Republished by Blog Post Promoter