It made me so sad.
I could not understand this behaviour…
And yet I can – now the male concept of compartmentalisation has been explained to me.
Although that didn’t make it hurt any less.
I guess that if the woman you love is with her family, then you throw yourself into other things to try to forget the pain that causes. To contact me now is to remind yourself of what you cannot have so better to put me carefully into a box and bring me out again when I am only a few days away, rather than several weeks.
I know now that you resented my absence and subsconsciously punished me for not being able to be with you.
Women are different. I think about you all the time. I miss you. I spend my days wishing the hours past so I can be with you again. I hold onto that when the shit is hitting the fan all around me. Someone tells me something or I see a programme that makes me laugh and I instantly think to text you to tell you. Even if it’s only to wish you goodnight. That’s why I found it so hard when there were days and days of silence in the space between my visits.
Sometimes, part of me wished that we were back at the beginning again where you were so driven to contact me all the time.
Another part of me worried that the lack of communication was the beginning of the end. That you had become complacent about the strength of my love for you.
I decided that perhaps it should be over.
Was 43 hours from making it so when you pulled us back from the brink.
And now we both understand compartmentalisation and have tried to replaced it with honesty.
After completing this post but, prior to publishing, I discovered that Lazy Phil had explained this phenomenon from the male perspective.
Recent Bites