In a statement issued by her solicitors:
Joanna Cake is delighted to announce that Titus Pepper’s hostile backdoor incursion attempt has been roundly rejected via the actions of an extremely gallant White Knight.
Using the previously unknown Pornstar strategy, the chivalrous saviour was able to wrest control of the valuable commodity from under the noses of PepperCorp executives in a ‘smash and grab style’ raid.
Ms Cake is indebted to her Good Samaritan and intends to respect his wish to remain anonymous. However, she firmly refutes all speculation that the terms of the new deal include a gagging order.
Sources close to Ms Cake confirm that she remains tight lipped about the identity of her valiant champion, although rumours abound at PepperCorp about a very well known Blogland entrepreneur and philanthropist.
All that is certain is that Ms Cake seems to have had her arse handed back to her and is now listed as being its sole owner.
She is believed to be spending the holiday weekend ensconced in a chocolate-filled love nest making full use of her regained asset and gathering material for future postings.
Meanwhile, Titus Pepper continues to skulk in Barbados on the back of his ill gotten gains but is still understood to be contemplating further attempts at rear entry on another unsuspecting arse blog.
Happy Easter!!!
I can’t help but be a little nervous, even though to date neither Mr Pepper nor PepperCorp have shown other than a total disinclination to have anything to do with my arse.
Nonetheless, I feel we can all breathe a little more easily now that your own arse is in safer hands.
HOT NEWS … A little research on the Exchange shows that the rumours of an attack on my arse appear to have been little more than a smokescreen to hide PepperCorp’s true intentions: they now own 50% of Knitting With Only One Needle.
I can understand why you don’t want to sell your peachy arse, but maybe you should consider loaning it. You get interest and your arse returned in pristine condition (or with bite marks if you prefer).
Ro – You see, I tried to warn you! Now that you’ve been alerted to the danger, he’ll try to lure you into a false sense of confidence and then pounce piggyback!
GB – This is not Blockbuster you know :) Although the prospect of the ultimate dominant alpha male borrowing one’s arse to exercise the strength of this dental work must be enough to give even the coldest female a certain frisson…
Blimey… I was for sale, and I didn’t even know it?!? Oh well, at least it’s only 50% – does this mean I get to sip cocktails in Barbados as well?