How many of my single friends have complained about that bane of the best internet dating sites…? The Married Man or Woman!
You know, the guy who says he isn’t but, if you ask the right questions, it becomes obvious that he is carrying an awful lot of excess baggage and certainly is not looking for long-term commitment with a single woman… due to his other extraneous relationship.
And I’m quite sure there are women who are equally economical with the truth and leading a number of single men up the garden path.
When I was introduced to the site Illicit Encounters, my first thought was for all my single friends – both male and female.
I hope that this will clear the playing field of all those time wasters who will not be fulfilling the singleton’s dream of love and marriage.
Be fair, people, you may not be looking for something long-term, but the majority of people on internet dating sites are. Many are looking for new relationships after divorce and just dipping their toe into these murky waters for the first time. Their egos are bruised, their self-esteem is low and they make prime targets for those less scrupulous than the majority of members.
So, if you’re married but still looking for extra-curricular activity to bolster your flagging relationship without having to face the financial ruin of divorce, try Illicit Encounters, where you will find like-minded individuals and, hopefully, great, guilt-free sex.
Originally posted 2010-10-22 10:42:58. Republished by Blog Post Promoter
I used this site for a month or so to see how good it really is. I thought it would be great to be direct and honest about expectations. I’m single myself and while I’m ultimately looking for something long term, there is something exciting about something illicit in the mean time. Being self employed I relished the idea of taking the day off for a daytime assignation.
However, I found it, apparently, as full of time wasters as the mainstream sites. Of course it could be the case that my approach is wrong but I’ve had lots of feedback over the years that has said my responses stood out from the one liners, the wannabees and the illiterate. So I really don’t think it was me all the time.
It just strikes me that internet dating is so often seen as an entertainment for both sexes. You can put up a profile with no real commitment and then the fun starts. It seems men and women don’t understand that there are real people with real feelings on the other end of these message threads. It’s a bit like the difference between the polite behaviour of people with shpoing trolleys (where you can see the person up close) and the agressive behaviour of drivers where the person is remote from you.
I’ve had some good results from internet dating but, I’m sorry to say, it’s a massive numbers game just to sort out the genuine people from the bored and uninterested. It’s a shame because we all want to feel that the person we are in a relationship with is interested in us to the exclusion of all others. We want to feel that we stood out and that we weren’t chosen from a list. Internet dating forces us to play the field and we inevitable end up with the one that responds to us genuinely. If we are lucky enough to have a choice of genuine responses it only makes it a short listing process. Does it mean that romance is dead or was it always so?
Interesting to hear it from an actual user, Jack. I had hoped that IE would be better than the regular sites because the rules were clear from the beginning. I have several friends who use dating sites – most complain about the same things you do. The time wasters. Whether that be people who are not what they purport to be or just wanting something other than is listed in the rules. A life partner or some good sex with an emotional attachment but no full time relationship. For many on these sites, it seems to be just a way to have serial sexual encounters. Wham Bam Thank You Mam/n because it’s not exclusive to either gender.
In fact it was interesting watching ‘The Jury’ on TV recently where the man in the dock had actually been on sites looking for love and found only women demanding sex. It was an interesting perspective.
Generally I found that the site was not really any different to mainstream dating sites. I would have been happy to accept some serial encounters but none were forthcoming. I don’t know if it’s true of IE but many sites give free membership to woman which sounds like a good idea but it means that they don’t really have an investment.
I suspect that the major issue is that women find themselves in a sweetshop (cakeshop?) where everything is free because there are so many men that they can afford to be totally frivolous. Of course it’s about fun but I’ve had the same ‘going nowhere’ banter on IE that you get on other sites. You can try to be the funny guy, coming back with quips and the like, but eventually you just get tired of it. Perhaps there should be other sorts of sites where women (and perhaps men) can have a platonic relationship with someone and just make jokes at each other. No hold on, Mark Zukerberg has already filled that niche.
LOL @ Jack for Facebook joking :P I think you’re right. If you don’t have to pay, you don’t value it. That’s something I come across every day in my work. You try to help people out by cutting the cost but they just don’t appreciate what you’re doing unless they pay full whack.