Research by Illicit Encounters has revealed that more than 300,000 people in the UK are actively seeking an affair and that 22% of men will have cheated on their wives at least once during their relationship.
Justin Garcia of Binghampton University has begun to question whether infidelity may be biologically normal. He explains that there are two types of monogamy – sexual and social.
Humans are socially monogamous, two people will pair bond and most of us aspire to that, but that’s not the same as sexual monogamy.
Justin Garcia believes that wanting to have sex with someone else is written into our genetic make-up and has discovered a gene which makes some of us more likely to do so.
However he refuses to identify it as the ‘cheating gene’, specifying that it is more about risk taking behaviour and new sensation seeking.
Those who don’t have the gene are 20% more likely to stray, whilst for those who do, it was closer to 50% who had engaged in infidelity and their partners tended to be one night stands rather than long-term affairs.
He stresses that, having this gene does not necessarily mean that we will stray. Our brains have developed to allow us to make that choice in our behaviour.
But there can be triggers which remind us of the failings of our marriage which may make the decision more likely.
I cheated virtually relentlessly in my first marriage, but never did once in my 2nd or current one. I’d be lying to suggest I haven’t been tempted. I have, and sometimes powerfully, and I’m still capable of having huge crushes, but I don’t go there. I think one of the reasons is having seen how devastating it is for the one betrayed. I have too much conscience.
Ian Lidster recently posted..Ultimately I realized fame demanded more than horn-rimmed glasses
MrW, As ever I thank you and commend you for your honesty. Temptation was put in my way during the marriage and perhaps part of the reason that I hid myself away and wore shapeless clothing deliberately designed to conceal my figure was my determination to try to maintain fidelity in a marriage that did not always live up to my expectations.
It is strange that, secure in the love of a good man, I find myself able to revel in my figure and my personality. Recognising and enjoying attractions to other men but never feeling the need to act upon them because my cup is forever full of his approval and affection.