Affirmation Nation

What I am

I am loveable, capable and a unique human being

I am already worthy as a person, I don’t have to prove myself

I deserve the respect of others, I easily accept compliments and praise from others

What I am learning

I am learning to forgive myself and others

I am learning the more I love myself, the more I am able to love others

I am learning that it is not necessary for me to be liked or accepted by every important person in my life, for everything I do.

I AM GOOD ENOUGH

It was very alarming to discover that the only things about myself which I value are those which relate to other people.

The approval of others is pleasant but not essential. In order to live life fully, we need to express ourselves, which means that at times we will do things of which others disapprove. If we are constantly trying to avoid disapproval, we will either become passive individuals or people with a poor sense of self. If, despite our efforts, we are disapproved of, the result can be devastating, because our self-esteem is based on what others think of us.

When my counsellor told me that he thought I was both brave and intelligent for having worked out so much about what is wrong with my life, I was very uncomfortable. I feel neither brave nor intelligent. By trying to please everyone all the time, I have painted myself into a corner as a non-person. Someone whose feelings don’t matter. Who will bend over backwards to avoid hurting another person and yet will allow that same person to inflict grievous wounds upon my own psyche without a challenge.

I have to acknowledge the things that are good about myself… which is hard because I still cannot think of many things that are unique to me, rather than being appealling to others. And I have to learn to accept a compliment with a thank you and embrace it. Not allow it to bounce off the positive jar into the abyss, whilst hoarding any negative critiques and regularly beating myself over the head with them.

A friend told me last week that, not only have I been an inspiration to him personally, but when I walk into a room, people start smiling. He’s been one of them.

I think that’s definitely something to hold on to.