…we know that the clitoris never ages and is always at a woman’s service. But whether she reaches sexual climax via heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse may depend on the ‘rule of thumb.’ Basically, women whose clitoris is further than a thumbs length away from the opening of the vagina have a harder time reaching orgasm this way.
Good Vibrations: The Sex Organ that Never Ages and the History of the Vibrator
The Los Angeles Times reported on the research by Dr. Kim Wallen of Emory University who said that “Clitoris-vagina distances less than 2.5 cm — that’s roughly from the tip of your thumb to your first knuckle — tend to yield reliable orgasms during sex.”
Called the C-V distance, this concept was first suggested by a contemporary of Freud’s, Princess Marie Bonaparte, in 1924. Growing fed up with her own lack of orgasmic response, she noted that many women clients reported ‘frigidity,’ but rather than blaming their psychological frame of mind, she suspected that physiology played a part.
Dr. Wallen looked at images she took of her patients and based on his initial review, concurs: there’s a correlation between C-V distance and the ability to have sex, but future work needs to be done to better understand the relationship between genital topography and getting over the top.
In a week where a new report in the Journal of Sexual Medicine concluded that medical science is not doing enough for the one out of four women for whom “orgasm during sex is an elusive goal”, Ruf and I were investigating the distance between my clitoris and the opening to my vagina.
It’s a difficult measurement. Do they mean the actual hole or the start of the external edge of that hole? We worked out that the distance to the external edge equated to the distance between the top of Ruf’s thumb and the first knuckle, confirming the measurement described in Dr Wallen’s research. But then, from our own previous experience, I guess we all knew that was going to be the case.
However, I’m not going to sit back on my laurels, so to speak, and take anything for granted, since I once believed that I was a victim of anorgasmia – the persistent inability to orgasm. Whilst I had previously been able to come through clitoral stimulation, towards the end of my marriage, the sex had become extremely sterile and lacking in any pleasure for me.
It would seem that I was not alone, as a study in 2001 found that 24 percent of women – most commonly those aged 20-40 – also reported long stetches where they were not achieving orgasm during sex. However, few of these ever took their concerns to a specialist and the most likely reason for this is the implications that it would have for the future of their current relationship. To have to address the physical actuality would also mean acknowledging that a marriage may be on the rocks… and so it goes unreported.
Even when a woman does visit her doctor to try to ascertain the cause, there are problems. It could be poor technique from her partner or psychological hang-ups from past experience or body dysmorphia. It could just be that she doesn’t feel a valued part of the relationship.
But there are also medical conditions that can result in anorgasmia – narrowing of the arteries due to cholestorol build-up and kidney disease; weak pelvic floor muscles from hormonal changes or childbirth; and certain types of antidepressant. The last can be improved by changing from selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) which are known to depress the libido as well.
I know I bang on about pelvic floor exercisers but these have been a huge part of my current enjoyment of love-making. Add to this the change of man in my life and I feel as if I have really hit paydirt. Basking in the warm glow from the love of a man who truly cares about me and isn’t afraid to show that emotion has changed my whole attitude to sex.
Feeling truly loved helps me to relax and appreciate my body through his eyes. Experimenting with him on the most effective ways of achieving orgasm is all part of the fun. A climax becomes a joint venture rather than something exclusively belonging to me.
It is no longer a fault on my part.
YAY! for you, J. Happy for you. All of it. XS
Hmmm, weird, your spam filter didn’t seem to want to let me post, feel free to delete this if it makes it through, I just wanted to see if it was a problem with the text itself
Rhacodactylus recently posted..Nouveau Feminist Blog Gets Collective Panties in a Bunch- If Youre Going to Trash Me- I Prefer Comments to Emails
I guess it didn’t like something about the content of my post, so I’ll try one more time. This is a really cool piece of info and I’ll have to check that out next time I’m in a sexual relationship. My ex was anorgasmic, and far from being a negative we actually ended up getting much more long winded and creative sexually because of it. In fact she was probably the most sexual girl I have personally been with. far more so than some of the girls who were more reliably climactic. I guess what I’m saying, is do what you can to orgasm, it’s a great thing, but for the women (and men) out there who don’t experience it easily, don’t get up in your head about it, and confuse a difference with a disability.
Rhacodactylus recently posted..Im Glad You Cant Get It Up! And- If You Ever Do- I Hope They Cut It Off!
Thanks Sulpicia x
Rhac, That’s such a refreshing male viewpoint because so many men just think it’s the woman’s problem and, instead of lavishing additional time and attention, they just go through the motions because, anything more is a waste of effort… This just makes the woman even more insecure and just adds to the problem. To feel loved and appreciated just sets a woman’s sexuality free. Without repression there can be so much more expression :)