500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets

What I really like about the 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets is the fact that it is specifically about lovemaking.

Not hints designed to just promote a better sexual experience through unusual practices or proclivities, but ways to actually enhance the intimate connection. Emphasising the love component and improving the sex as a very pleasant additional benefit.

The author, otherwise known as “Oprah Love Expert” Michael Webb, is also the founder of “The Virtuoso Lover” and has featured in all sorts of famous publications both in the States and here in the UK. His goal is to teach men how to become exceptional lovers, who can satisfy women both physically and emotionally.

Being a virtuoso himself in that area, Ruf applauds his goals and certainly didn’t feel as if his nose had been put out of joint because I might want to read a publication that could give further advice to improve our already pretty incredible love life.

However, as Michael points out, one of the biggest challenges facing couples in long-term relationships is how to retain the original passion whilst making love, after the initial magic fades. For many, it becomes harder to regain that first flush of excitement.

Because we are not always together, Ruf and I have a head start over most couples. We are away from each other for at least three weeks out of every four so, when we do meet up, there is a lot of pent-up passion to be exploited.

However, sometimes we are able to spend one or two whole weeks together and it can be quite exhausting to try to make love with the same intensity and in an original way every morning and evening for two weeks – and that’s when the 500 tips was actually quite helpful and informative.

It’s a bit overwhelming if you try to read it all in one go. I prefer to just open it up, pick a page number and, with closed eyes, select a tip to spice things up a bit that day.

I have to say that I didn’t think much of the idea of dressing Ruf’s todger up in ‘Ken’ clothes – that was certainly one of the more bizarre suggestions and there were a few that definitely made me cringe. But there were a lot more useful pieces of advice or instructions involving location, foreplay, oral tips, methods and positions for intercourse and just some plain simple ways to improve your relationship with each other by being caring.

For me, the build up to orgasm is not just about physical caressing, it is about having my soul stroked and my psyche pampered with loving demonstrations of his devotion. Some of my biggest climaxes have come as a result of being completely buoyed up on the love that we share as I rode the waves of passion. It’s not that no one has ever felt like that about me before, more that no man has ever actually shown me and told me and wrapped me up in it; convinced me of how beautiful and worthy I am.

And that was the ongoing theme, moving away from some of the more intense and perverse sexual scenarios to focus on loving each other and achieving orgasm through the mental enjoyment of the physical connection. The 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets help a couple to explore that level of intimacy by learning to love themselves through the love of another.

That’s not to say that there aren’t some great pointers on the best way to manipulate both sets of genitals to achieve the optimum arousal and loads of clues on how to sustain that excitement by using different rhythms and speeds of thrust to encourage the multiple orgasm.

Michael Webb is not big on the Kama Sutra and some of the fetishes and more extreme forms of sexual play. He views a lot of them as degrading to women and, indeed, when he gave some examples of scenes from the Kama Sutra, I could see his point.

Although, as has been documented, I’m certainly not averse to a bit of bondage or paddling and I do understand that some of the more challenging physical exponents of BDSM do have their place. However, my counselling has shown me that, in a lot of cases, this can be linked to the mental state of both the giver and the receiver through past experiences which might be better controlled through verbal self-exploration rather than trying to expiate them through punishment.

Yes, I liked the 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets very much.