What Men Really Want In Bed

iVillage are at it again with a great post about the 20 things that men really want in bed. So here’s my take on the pointers that I think are most important in their list…

Enthusiasm, Initiative and Spontaneity
Men love a woman who likes sex – there are far too many comedians who talk about frigidity for it to be a mere coincidence. Too many women get their man and then get sucked into the humdrum of daily life, allowing it to remove their passion for the ultimate intimacy. When she prefers to sleep in bed, there is something of a problem.

Having said that, it’s hard to be spontaneous and initiate intimacy if your man is forever going on about sex. Where is the element of surprise? Men also have to take responsibility for allowing spontaneity to happen without pressure.

A gentle seduction or the instigation of a rough quickie – if unexpected – can be extremely pleasurable for both parties.

Dirty Talk and Hero Worship
I don’t think there is any man who doesn’t respond positively to explicit discourse about the beauty of his member and general sexual prowess – whether spoken or texted.

A man’s ego (and often his brain) resides primarily in the piece of expanding flesh between his legs and so this needs to be massaged regularly – both verbally and physically.

But not as if it is a chore or required activity! The woman has to be seen to be enjoying herself as much as the man if you really want to please him.

Ruf loves lacy topped roll ups. My donning of such attire is guaranteed to end up with a physical encounter.

Self Love and Orgasmic Potential
There are two things that Ruf always says he loves most about me – the fact that I am not afraid to play with myself with the light on whilst he watches and the faces that I pull when I am climaxing.

Each gurning facial response to orgasm equates to a different sensation. I may laugh or cry, I may shriek or moan, but they are all acknowledgements of my pleasure… and, for him, that is a huge turn on.

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